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Reviving Creativity: My Journey Back to Writing

After a little hiatus where I did a little more (creatively, that is) than post my daily outfits on TikTok, which was quite fun actually, I’m finally getting back to business and back into writing. Honestly, I needed a break, and now that my creative coffers are full again, I’m thrilled to share this new book that I started maybe three(?) years ago as a serial for the short-lived Kindle Vella. After reworking it a bit, I’m proud to get this baby out there. Black and Blue Ivy is a YA gothic story about a girl who travels from the tough streets of Kensington, Philadelphia, to a home for wayward girls, then eventually lands in Providence House, the sprawling estate of a wealthy family in Philadelphia’s Main Line. If you know anything about gothic novels–especially the V.C. Andrews ones, which were an inspiration for this book–then you’ll know that’s when the trouble for our main character really begins. 

There are religious themes in this story, which reflect–and challenge–my own Catholicism. I was thrilled to see the book reach #1 New Release in Teen and Young Adult Christian Social Fiction. I didn’t even know there was such a category, but I’ll take it. Please note, there is nothing preachy or proselytizing about this work, so atheists and other (fill in the blank) are welcome to partake. If there is a religious theme, it has more to do with examining and weeding out hypocrisy than anything else. I strongly believe writers should explore ideas that are important to them. That what makes a voice unique and interesting.

There is a disturbing trend in publishing today where it’s all about hitting the right “tropes.” If I’m not mistaken, “trope” used to be considered a negative term, a cliché, but it seems to have evolved to be synonymous with conventions, which is the term I prefer. I used plenty of gothic conventions in Black and Blue Ivy: the Jane Eyre orphanage and awful neglect, the tony mansion hiding diabolical secrets, the creepy housekeeper, the list goes on. My homages to V.C. Andrews, including a metaphor of powder sugar on doughnuts, abound. There’s also an attic or two. But this story is my own, meaning it comes from my own twisted (at times) heart. I’ve certainly given it my own spin, and with so many changes happening in publishing: the seemingly almost daily AI scandals, the bizarre AI witch hunts on Threads, the fact that “tropes” seem to be telling the stories, not the writer/creator, and the head scratching that goes along with why the hell is this book popular–yes, Romantasy I’m looking at you! Well, you get the picture. 

I needed the break, and I’m excited to be creating again. I’m heading over to my studio this morning to record my first YouTube video in about six months. It’s good, no, it’s great to be back! 

*Watch my first video in six months:

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We’ll Tear Your Soul Apart—Then Spit It Out!

Book Review: Wretch: or, The Unbecoming of Porcelain Khaw by Eric LaRocca

I’ve been disappointed by new horror. I recently returned three(!) new library books I ended up DNF-ing. Now, one, I admit, was a new romantasy. I was curious about why it was so popular. After taking a dip, I still am. But the other two were recent horror releases. I got about 100 pages in on each and thought, “Since when did horror become so safe, so self-aware, so annoyingly pedantic, so—dare I say it—afraid?”

I don’t want soft cuddles when I read horror. I want high stakes, operatic peaks, hatred and self-loathing of the most abominable kind, spectacular crashes into burning pits of hell! I want blood spilling out on the page by someone who understands my suffering, who dares to go there. To quote Blanche DuBois, “I want magic!” albeit of the gruesome kind.

LaRocca brings the dark magic, and then some!

Trawling through Barnes and Noble while my car was getting serviced, I happened upon Wretch, a new release by Eric LaRocca. Now, I had read one of his books — Everything the Darkness Eats — and enjoyed its off-the-rails over-the-top goriness. It gave me old-school Edward Lee chills. Pulling up the Goodreads page now, I’m shocked, shocked! to discover the book receiving such low ratings. Even respected reviewers in the horror community failed to recognize the undeniable talent in our midst that is LaRocca. Sometimes I wish some of these influencers would influence some other genre than horror — romantasy, for example.

But, back to browsing in Barnes and Noble. I was scanning the new releases and pleased to see a horror title. I recalled I liked the author’s style and took a chance on the hardcover, which, in case you haven’t noticed, ain’t cheap anymore. The cover looked cool, the author’s Clive Barker dedication and opening quote intriguing, so I took a gamble.

Well, I wasn’t just pleasantly surprised; I was gruesomely enchanted!

Quick synopsis: Simeon (Biblical significance?) is grieving his dead spouse, Jonathan. Depressed and failing at work, he takes a leave of absence and, through a dark web chatroom, wanders into an underground society of the desperate and grief-stricken, a strange support group where members attempt to detect the images of their deceased loved one through photographs of inanimate objects and boring landscapes. Simeon attends awkward meetings with the Wretches, which is part Fight Club, part Order of the Gash—the author freely admits to these influences in the afterword—but he’s longing for something more. He wants his lover back, in the flesh, and he’ll do anything to make that happen. Be careful what you wish for, because Simeon is eventually led to a character named Porcelain Khaw, a dark entity (I kept imagining Pinhead) who promises reconnection, but at a stiff price.

Besides the general plot, which intrigued me, one thing I loved about this book was that LaRocca doesn’t play it safe with emotions. He’s honest about his main character’s shortcomings; his self-loathing in particular rings true. He doesn’t play it safe with the queerness either. Parts of this book reminded me of the shocking underground scene of downtown New York I recall reading about in The Village Voice. I tried to capture some of that underground scene that titillated and horrified my imagination in my horror thriller Fashion Victims. I still consider it one of my best novels, although tragically neglected.

But back to Wretch.

I applaud LaRocca’s brutal look at the self-hatred that can turn us into empty vessels searching for love to fill us while callously draining those who love us. There is a tragically melancholy subplot concerning Simeon’s rejected former wife and their neglected teenage son in a way that shows the selfishness of grief and obsessive love in general. The concept of “reverse haunting” could have been explored more, or perhaps I’m just unfamiliar with that sub-sub-genre. One flashback scene involving an alligator enclosure at the zoo left me baffled. If I was supposed to identify with the protagonist, that almost ruined it for me.

Yet, I couldn’t stop reading.

There are a few quick and painful “gotcha” twists at the end, reminding the reader that horror is, after all, a thrill ride, or at least it should be. I closed this book feeling very satisfied and determined to read all of LaRocca’s books. If Stephen King proclaimed Clive Barker the future of horror, LaRocca may have just picked up that mantle with Wretch. Let’s hope more writers daringly follow his lead. I certainly am inspired.

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Book Review – Gothic by Philip Fracassi

Cemetery Dance – Feb. 2023

Tyson Parks, a washed-up horror writer huffing the last fumes of his former successes, endures a humiliating meeting with his editor. His new novel is crap, unacceptable. Why can’t he produce the hits like he used to? Tyson promises a rewrite but knows he doesn’t have it in him. Worse, he’s already spent the advance. Pushing sixty, bordering on alcoholism and debt, how long can Tyson hang on to the comfortable life his fading talent secured for him? Desperate men are dangerous in fiction. So are long-suffering women who only want to help.

Enter his live-in girlfriend Sarah, a woman of taste with money of her own, whom Tyson worries will any day now see him for the fraud he is. But Sarah hasn’t given up on Tyson. In fact, she surprises him with a gift for his 59th birthday: a valuable antique to replace his worn-out writing desk. This piece of Gothic artwork, an 18th-century occult altarpiece, may give him the inspiration he needs. Of course it does, but as in all good horror fiction, there is a heavy price to pay. Flush with his second-act success, Tyson becomes a willing vehicle for an ancient, unspeakable evil.

Fracassi’s Gothic is awash in familiar horror tropes: the Faustian bargain, the cursed object with a dark history. I was instantly reminded‑gleefully so‑of In the Mouth of Madness, Trilogy of Terror, and Rosemary’s Baby. Even the setting feels like something out of an Ira Levin story, evoking the simple pleasures of a bygone New York: jaunts through the Strand bookstore and Met museum, martini-fueled power lunches, sparkling cocktail parties at tony townhouses. The novel’s historical section, brief but effective, references M.G. Lewis and Horace Walpole with its damp subterranean crypts, dripping vaulted ceilings, and creaking iron gates. The altar, black basalt stone with unusual carvings, is the creation of a powerful magician who has an equally powerful adversary. Back in the present, a mysterious woman is desperate to retrieve her family’s lost artifact before its evil can be released into the world. Words have power, we are reminded, and destruction can be communicated through the latest bestseller—that is, if the public even reads anymore. We can only hope.

Horror fans will appreciate the homages to King and Poe, among others, but the winks and elbow nudges never eclipse the spine-tingling suspense or moments of glorious gross-out gore. Built on a solid structure, Gothic holds up the weight of its more giggling-inducing moments with aplomb. I laughed at the climax, but in a good way—the laughter at the final bend in the roller coaster. I know a book is good when I want to start the ride all over again. Minor characters are skillfully drawn, padding out a believable world in which I was happy to lose myself for a few days. I can easily see Gothic made into a blockbuster movie, bolstering my faith that classic horror can always be revived. Five enthusiastic stars!

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Happy Vamptember!

My vampire novel CODE RED is now for sale on Amazon.

I will probably be selling it on other platforms too, but for now, you may buy it in ebook and print. Also, if you’re on NetGalley, you may download a free copy through October. I proud of this book which began as a Wattpad story and ended up winning a Watty award in 2020. Here’s the premise:

The Vampires are Running the Asylum!
Wormwood Asylum, a private mental hospital located in Southwest Virginia, specializes in treating adolescent psychoses, including Renfield’s Syndrome, an obsession with drinking blood. But when a young man is committed to Wormwood because he believes he’s a vampire, it turns out he wasn’t lying, and soon rapacious revenants are running rampant through the rural mountain community. To fight the blatant bloodsuckers, the local sheriff teams up with a candy striper and her moonshiner grandpa, who just happens to have an arsenal of war-grade weapons stored in his prepper bunker, for a bloody country hoedown of epic proportions.

To celebrate my take on vicious vamps, I thought I’d share my favorite vampires in lore and legend. Not the most original list in the world, but here goes.

Barnabas Collins

Like many from my generation, Dark Shadows, was part of our daily routine. A soap opera fully steeped in campy Gothic tropes, the show lasted for a good chunk of my childhood. The feature film based on the series, The House of Dark Shadows, was the first horror film I was allowed to see when I was a kid and it scared me to bits–in reality, I was a bit young for it, but I’ll be forever grateful for my older sister who dragged me along and turned me into a horror fan forever chasing that first high. Just the other day, I discovered a Dark Shadows book and comic bonanza at my local antique mart and rejoiced at adding to my collection. Perhaps one day I’ll happen upon the elusive Dark Shadows Cookbook we decimated as children, now selling for hundreds on eBay. As far as I’m concerned the Tim Burton travesty doesn’t exist.

Carmilla

I’m late to Carmilla, having only read it last year, but man, it did not disappoint! Sheridan Le Fanu’s novella about an ancient aristocratic vampire with Lesbian tendencies has a titillating premise, but to be fair, the sexuality is as subtle as a cool whispered breath on a fluttery bosom. What I enjoyed most about the story was its slow burning Gothic atmosphere. Its influence on Stoker’s Dracula is quite obvious. This is a creepy story I will return to each fall while spending a holiday at a haunted Austrian castle or at least a misty morning in my neighborhood graveyard.

Lestat

I discovered Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire when it became a paperback sensation in the 80’s and I immediately fell in love with the seductive Lestat de Lioncourt (as did Batilda). I was less impressed with Tom Cruise’s performance in the film adaptation. It wasn’t his fault he was miscast, but his performance and the film has grown on me with subsequent viewings. In the decades since I discovered this classic, I’ve been slowly working my way through The Vampire Chronicles. Rice’s lush, meandering prose can prove frustrating at times, but what an incredible character she created in Lestat. His seductions are immortal.

Dracula

All roads lead back to Drac, but which incarnation is best? I confess, it took me two reading to appreciate Stoker’s novel. Now, it shares a shelf with Frankenstein, the fraternal twins of Gothic literature. There have been so many film and television adaptations, from the ridiculous to the sublime, but I think the original silent Nosferatu comes closest to doing the Count justice. He’s a weirdo, and not as seductive as some renditions–Frank Langella’s coifed 70s styling comes to mind–would suggest. In truth, I love each portrayal for different reasons, with a particularly fondness for Gary Oldman’s seductive count, but now when I read Dracula, it is Max Schreck’s version I envision. His is a different kind of seduction. Not quite human, here is a monster whose talent for inspiring fear and fascination can never be matched.

Do you have any favorite vampires? Please comment below and let’s share notes. Vamp on!

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Flowers in the Attic: The Origin

Worth the watch!

Like many of us, I have my unique “critter comfort” media that I love but wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. I learned my lesson back when I was a teenager and recommended the drive-in horror flick, Dead and Buried to someone and never heard the end of it. The same could be said for the original Phantasm or dozens of other beloved “cheesy” horror and Lifetime movies. I love “camp,” and I always have, but I realize I’m in the minority, and I’m okay with that. Camp aside, I recommend Lifetime’s newest VC Andrews’ inspired series, Flowers in the Attic: The Origin, to anyone who enjoys a good family drama that’s well-acted and directed. The writing is excellent, and the settings and costumes bring the series to life.

Yes, there are changes from the book it’s based on, Garden of Shadows, the final book in the Dollanganger series penned by Andrews Neiderman from VC Andrews’ notes. The most significant casting addition is Foxworth Hall’s maid Nella. What could have been just a throw-away character to add padding to the four-part series greatly enriches the story thanks to good writing and performance by T’Shan Williams–a mostly musical theater performer. Well, she has found a new fan in me because I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. Some of the other changes included a “forbidden” gay relationship and a sub-plot concerning a mix-up of poisonous herbs and marijuana, which worked for the most part, although the animal slaughter scene was a bit over the top, even for me.

I’ve also developed a serious crush on Max Irons who plays the devious and dastardly Malcolm Foxworth. Discovering he was Jeremy Irons’ son only deepened my obsession. This is a series I will return to many times.

Unlike the cringe performances, clunky dialogue, and anachronistic costumes of former VC Andrews’ fair, it’s clear that money was spent on this production. I’m happy to see it, and I hope Lifetime continues to produce such excellent VC Andrews content. A little bird told me the Cutler Series is in the works. I can’t wait!

Check out my video review of the series. Have you watched it yet? If so, please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

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The Bloodlust of Carmilla

It was a read-a-thon challenge on BookTube, #HorrorMAYhem if you’re curious, that finally nudged me toward reading a classic story burning up my library shelf (and Kindle Fire) for years. Maybe I resisted reading Carmilla because I was under the delusion that I had read it before—that was actually Coleridge’s Christabel. So, during my yearly creative retreat at a lakeside cabin in the woods, I finally cracked open my vintage paperback copy and took a bite.

Carmilla, the 1872 novella written by Irish author Sheridan Le Fanu, burst in my mouth like the wild red berries I’d indulged in during my morning hike—more bitter than sweet, but delicious.

Perhaps my resistance also had something to do with a belief that I needed a proper setting in which to absorb the story. After all, we live in a world of distractions that makes focusing on anything a challenge, let alone dense, Victorian prose. I had just completed Brian Keene’s The Conqueror Worms for Week One of the reading challenge, the assignment being supernatural creatures. After Keene’s gory gut punches, it took me a few paragraphs to adjust to Le Fanu’s writing style. Still, with only the music of birdsong—including a pair of owls outside my cabin—and soft breezes to accompany my reading, Carmilla stirred my blood in ways I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Several adaptations, including a wonderfully cheesy Hammer film, have seized on the titillating “lesbian vampire” theme. Yes, the theme is there and it’s quite subtle (more Sappho than Sade), but my deep reading yielded so many more delights. For one thing, the setting could not be more Gothic. The story takes place in Styria, which a quick search on my phone informed me is part of Austria. Austria is a place I’ve always wanted to visit; my grandfather was born there, and I’ve only heard about its natural beauty and stunning architecture through stories and films. This setting is in the remote country, a lonely and primitive place, where English ex-pats can afford to live like kings and queens on modest yearly incomes. But the quiet beauty is haunted by the ghosts of an old aristocratic family, the Karnsteins, their lineage now reduced to mouldering tombs in a roofless church and an equally-desolate château which, in the thick of the forest, overlooks the silent ruins of the town.

The ancient estate (or schloss) the young heroine, Laura, and her father inhabit has a moat, a drawbridge, and so many rooms (replete with secret passages) that one’s screams in the middle of the night are undetected by other household members, as Laura discovers when at six years old she is attacked by a ghostly nocturnal visitor. This strangely beautiful lady-phantom kisses and caresses Laura in a way the motherless child finds comforting until she shocks her by penetrating her chest with two sharp needles. While Laura screams for her governess, the phantom disappears beneath the bed (a creepy image indeed). Later, she will return in the guise of a cat during her attacks.

Laura, now a young lady of eighteen at the time of the narrative, is still disturbed by the incident from her childhood. Will this strange apparition come back to haunt her? We know it will.

A dramatic opening scene sets the stage when young Laura, her father, and a few servants take a moonlit stroll and witness a carriage with footmen in full livery crash against a tree and overturn. The team of horses shied at the site of an ancient cross on the estate—someone remarks in a chilling bit of foreshadowing. A noblewoman dressed in black velvet, a turbaned woman within the carriage grinning derisively toward the ladies, and ugly, hang-dog looking grooms hint at the evil lurking beneath the gilded veneer.

In a rushed moment of chivalry, Laura’s father decides to let Carmilla, stunned in the carriage accident, remain at his estate until the mother can reclaim her in several months’ time. The plan is vague and not very well thought out, but Laura is happy to have a new friend even if the new friend is a bit…strange.

Carmilla is pale, languid, rarely eats except to nibble on some chocolate, and sleeps most of the day. She is also “abnormally” affectionate toward young Laura, caressing her and proclaiming her love with rapid breaths and a heaving bosom. Laura finds her young companion’s romantic expressions, like great beauty, both seductive and repulsive. Still, she’s inexplicably drawn to her.

Despite her sweetness and languor, Carmilla occasionally flames with the imperious indignation of a Countess Bathory. When a grotesque peddler shows up with some bizarre taxidermy of various animals stitched together and suggests grinding down Carmilla’s unusually sharp teeth, Carmilla retorts: “How dares that mountebank insult us so? Where is your father? I shall demand redress from him. My father would have had the wretch tied up to the pump, and flogged with a cart-whip, and burnt to the bones with the castle brands!”

I recognized in this early work of vampire fiction many subplots and characters recycled in every Gothic vampire story from Dracula to Dark Shadows and beyond, including midnight gallops, country doctor visits, superstitious common folk, misty graveyards, and even a Van Helsing character who shows up at the end with his “tool kit” to dispatch Carmilla, really the two-hundred year old Countess of Karnstein, with a stake through the heart followed by decapitation for good measure.

Glued to the page, I sucked down every word of this Gothic tale, and when I finished, my bosom heaved for more. In fact, I’d barely read the last line when I fired up my iPhone and listened to the audiobook while sitting by the lake, pretending I was in Villa Diodati. Like other favorite Gothic classics, Jane Eyre and Frankenstein among them, I will revisit this novella many times hence.

With my bloodlust for Carmilla unsated after two successive readings, I desperately searched for some film adaptations. Carmilla, a recent film written and directed by Emily Harris, is an atmospheric interpretation of how a sexually-repressed governess takes out her frustrations on the budding Sapphic romance between her teenage charge and her mysterious new friend. The film is pretty and meant to be poignant, but I yawned through most of it. I wanted more of Carmella’s fierceness, and I almost found it in The Vampire Lovers (1970), the first in a Hammer Film trilogy starring Peter Cushing. Here, you’ll find more boobs than blood. The late 60’s hairstyles and make-up had me giggling, but at least it stuck close to the original plot. I plan to watch the entire trilogy this weekend. 

Perhaps a definitive adaptation is out there. I’ll continue to search. In the meantime, Carmilla will haunt my dreams most deliciously. Feeling refreshed from my cabin retreat, a sweet female cat showed up on my doorstep when I returned home. She purred and threaded through my legs when I petted her and has shown no intention of leaving.